Sm:)e Box - 2

34 jokes per post.
Number of post 2.

68.
Ming and Mong goes hunting
Ming        : Did you see that?
Mong       : No
Ming        : A bald eagle just flew by looking for a younger mate.
2 mins. later.
Ming        : Did you see that?
Mong       : No
Ming        : Two frogs just made love on that big green leave.
2 mins. later.
Ming        : Did you see that?
Mong (getting aggravated)  : Yes
Ming        : Then why did you step in it?

67.
Husband         : Under the Right to Information Act tell me how many affairs you had before getting married to me?
Wife               : I can't disclose it under the Protection of Privacy Act.

66.
Q. Behind every successful man there is a women. Why?
Answer : Because women don't run behind unsuccessful man.

65.
Patient      : I can't stop singing "Kill 'em All".
Doctor       : Did your girlfriend dumped you or had any enemies?
Patient      : No, why?
Doctor       : Then you need to file an FIR to yourself in the police station.

64.
Angry that his mother milks only to his younger brother Johny applied poison gel at his mother's nipples at night.
In the morning the family found his uncle death of poisoning.

63.
Sadar in World Fart Championship
- The American fart first and its sound roar the whole stadium for one minute.
- Next the European comes out and his fart produced storms of green dust.
- Russian steps in the centre of the stadium and the sound was so loud that the thunder stops thundering.
- At last the Sadar came and his fart didn't made any sound.
People looked at him confused and asked what happened.
The Sadar points his finger at the cross of the Jesus Christ and found that Jesus un-nailed his hands from the cross and was holding his nose.

62.
Sadar was selected to represent India in  the World Strongest Man Championship
Category - WATER SPORT
U.S's Cris Angel         : Walked on water
Japanease                   : Blocked the tsunami with one hand.
Russian                        : Turn's water into hydrogen bomb.
India's Sadar               : Drawn a fish in the water.

61.
A guy painted his hair with yellow, green and pink color. He got mad to an old man staring at him.
Guy               : Hey! WTF are you looking at huh....old man!!
Old Man       : I f**ked a peacock 20 years back, I was wandering if you are my son.

60.
Teacher      : How will you pluck an apple growing all alone in the middle of an ocean.
Student       : I will transform into a bird, flew till the apple tree and pluck it.
Teacher      : Your stupid parents told you that man can transform himself to a bird?
Student       : Then who the brainless intellect suggested you that apple grows in the middle of an ocean.

59.
Q.      Define true music lover?
Ans:  A boy pipping through the keyhole on the tune of the girl singing in her bathroom while having shower.

58.
Judge      : Why did you hit your husband?
Wife        : He called me from office, took me to bedroom, removed my clothes, laid me on the bed and said "April fool".

57.
Michael Jackson is still in purgatory.
His identity did not match the one in the registry of hell or heaven.
God sent him as black and came back white.

56.
On a highway.
Ming           : I bet 100 $ if you can ride your bycycle in between the lights of the two bikes approching.
Mong         : Done
Next morning Mong woke up in a hospital bed.
When asked about what happen,
Mong        : There was another bike without head lamp in between the two.

55.
A man gifted a NOKIA phone to his girlfriend.
After a year the girl got married to another man.
Moral  : NOKIA CONNECTS NOT ONE BUT MANY PEOPLES.

54.
Ming borrowed $50,000 from Mong.
A month later.
Ming     : Your $50'000 gave birth to $2,000. Have this $2,000.
Mong took the money and left.
A month later.
Mong   : Where is my $50,000? I need to have it now.
Ming     : Your $50,000 passed away this morning

53.
Sardar sitting in a bus stop
Reads in the wall, "Those who write this are clever and those who read are fools."
Sardar unnderstood the meaning and he smiled.
Then he rub of the wall and wrote,
"Those who write these are fools and those who read are clever"

52.
INCREDIBLE INDIA
- Car loans are cheaper than educational loans.
- Food grain rot as people die of hunger
- High-end luxury cars are plenty, but where are the roads?
- Sex is everywhere except where it is supposed to be.
- Pizza arrives in 30 minutes, the ambulance doesn't.
- Indigenous war vehicles were made long before the simple car.
- Family size has shrunk, but the number of homes increases.
- The champion of austerity on currency notes
- We worship goddesses and doom our daughters.
- Indians need permits to visit Arunachal, the Chinese allow Arunachalis entry without visa.
- Individuals are hounded by loan recovery agents, defualting firms are treated with kid gloves.
- The public pays to keep terrorist Ajmar Kasab safe, secure and well-nourished.
- Obesity and malnutrition are both on the rise.
- Trollies for air passengers, paid coolies for railway travellers.
- There are more mobile phones than toilets in rural and urban areas.
**Source : The Week's Anniversary Special Cover Story, Dec. 26th, 2010 (vol. 2) edition

51.
Poster in a RESTAURANT
All our waiters are married.
They know how to take orders.

50.
HEADLINE OF 2050
Entertainment
- Rajnikanth in DHOOM 22.
- Golmall 15 ready for release.
- Shahid, Saif attainded Kareena's 8th wedding.
- Petrol today @ Rs. 984/litre.
- CID completed 10,00,000 episodes
Sports
- "I will play next World Cup." ....Sachin.

49.
Ming           : This computer can give any answer to any question.
Mong          : Really? Ask where is my dad right now.
Computer   : Your dad is attainding his daughter's wedding in L.A.
Mong          : How can it be possible. I don't have any sister and my dad is death two years back.
Ming           : Let's try once more. This time "Where is my mother's husband right now?"
Computer   : Your mother's husband is in hell convicted for sex trafficing on earth. But your dad is still in L.A attaining his daughter's wedding.

48.
A huge crowd gathered in a road accident and the Sardar didn't get a chance to see it.
The clever Sardar shouted "This was my dad."
The crowd gave way and found the dog was lying dead.

47.
When a girl cries for a boy it means that she miss him a lot. But when a boy cries for a girl it means no one in this world can love the girl more then that boy. Strange but true.
How to take a BREAK among jokes.

46.
"International Tobacco User's Championship"
Organized by Short Life Society,
1st prize   : Cancer.
2nd prize  : Tubercolosis
3rd prize  : Slow Death

45.
Santa  : I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta  : What's he studying.
Santa  : He's not studying, they are studying him!

44.
Once Rajnikanth was on the hot seat of "Kaun Banega Crorepati".
And the computer needed a life line to choose the questions.

43.
Sardar bunks office and goes home.
There he saw his wife with his boss.
He comes back running back to the office and says "Thank God! the boss didn't see me."

42.
2 boys searching for their lost girlfriend.
1st    : How does your girl look like?
2nd   : 5'8", bold, fair, blue eyes, hot and sexy. What about yours?
1st    : Forget mine. Let's search your's?

41.
I like grapes,
B'coz its boneless.
And I like you,
B'coz you are brainless.
And if you felt bad its just a fact.

40.
Doctor     : Your husband needs rest, take these sleeping pills.
Wife         : Oh! Thanks doctor, when do I give him these?
Doctor     : Those are for you not him.

39.
A woman gave birth to 6 babies.
She got off the bed, slapped her husband and shouted,
"I told u not 2 go Doggy Style..!"
The husband replied,
"Now you know man are not the only dogs."

38.
Username n Password
You love someone and you marry someone else. The one you marry becomes your "user name" and the one you loved becomes your "password".

37.
Son            : Dad, how much does it cost to get married?
Father        : I don't know son, am still paying for it.

36.
Teacher    : Which animal can live both in land and water?
Santa        : Frog.
Teacher    : Now tell three more animals with such ability.
Santa        : The frog's daddy, mom and sister.

35.
Lady secretary came out angrily from her boss's cabin.
Friend        : What happen?
Secretary   : He asked me if am free tonight?
Friend        : What did you said?
Secretary   : I said "Yes".
Friend        : &?
Secretary   : Bastard gave me 50 pages to type.

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