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Blessed are not the child with silver spoons but with the grace of making it better. Curse are not the one with half meal a day but with the disgrace of making it worse. Success and failure happens to both, we are all the same, only a different package we comes in.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Sm:)e Box - 1

- No. of Post 1
- 34 jokes/post

Inside an exam hall.
Supervisor   : Why are you so tense?
Sardar         : I forgot...aah..a mistake.
Supervisor  : Hall ticket?
Sardar         : No
Supervisor  : ID?.......calculator?
Sardar         : I brought tomorrow's exam chit today.

A girl was coming alone.
She came towards me.
We both came so close to each other that .......:)
I moved aside and the girl went away.
Moral 1   : I respect ladies.
Moral 2   : She was a scrap figure.

Last night I had a dream. I walked with God. He asked me, "Who is your boy/girl friend?".
I told him your name.
The God smiled and said slowly, "My child your life is spoiled."

One day two Sardar finds three live bombs. They thought of carrying it to the police.
S1   : What shell we do if any bomb blasts in the middle?
S2   : We will lie that we found only 2.

A man saw a board at the center of a river. He tried but couldn't read it. So he swim in to the river and saw "No Swimming, Crocodile Inside".

- Once there was very dense fog in Chennai. Later it was discovered that Rajnikanth was smoking.
- The Rajanikanth award goes to OSCAR.
- But only traffic police can stop 50 cars with one hand till now. Thank to these cops for giving a break to Mr./Dr./Super Star/Boss/Bus Conductor Rajnikanth.

Me    : Come lets play chess.
You   : No , sorry.
Me    : Y?
You   : I don't have a sport shoe.

The teacher kept 2 buckets in front of a donkey.
One water and the other beer.
The donkey drank the water.

Teacher: So kids, what do you learn from this?
Student: Those who don't drink beer are donkeys.

3 friends, lift not working.
101 storey building, room on the 99th floor.
Each friend tells a story on their way.

1st friend starts his story and ended on the 40th floor.
2nd friend ended his story on the 98th floor.
3rd friend told them the shortest story.
The story of the room key he left it in the car a few moment ago.

Once 8 - 10 hairs grew up on Gandhiji's head after India got freedom.
He went to a salon.
The man at the salon, seeing his hairs asked him angrily, "Do you want to cut or count them?"
Gandhiji replied,............
"Colour it."

Grammar class:
Teacher        : "Peter doesn't like girls."
What is Peter in this sentence?
Student         : Gay :p)

Girl               : Mummy leg pain.
Mother         : What happen?
Girl              : Even today again I had to stand in the queue to give the love letter to .......**
CrAzy GiRL :p)
**enter your name.

Kevin        : I can bite my left eye with my own teeth.
Sean        : I bet $1,000 if you can do that.
Kevin removed his artificial eye and bite with his teeth.
He got the $1,000 and said,
"I can bite the right eye too."
Sean thought    : How is it possible. He has to be blind if he can do that.
Sean        : I bet $1,000 again if you can do.
Kevin removed his artificial teeth and bite the other eye.

Student: Why does the popcorn jumps when kept on a hot stove?
Teacher: Just sit on the stove and see. Then you will know why it jumps.

Inspirational message for all single guys who says "Dude, she has a boyfriend."
!!..Yeah, so?
"Football has a goalkeeper but it doesn't mean you can't score."...!#@

A cop saw a man casting his fishing net in a restricted area.
Cop         : Do you know that fishing is not premitted in this area.
Ming        : Yes.
Cop         : Then why did you cast the net.
Ming        : I saw the fish drowning so I was helping the fish by bringing up.

Wife dreaming in the night suddenly shouts, "Quick my husband is back."
Man gets up, jumps out of the window and realizes, "Damn, I'm the husband."

WIFE            : How much paid for this condom?
HUSBAND  : Ten rupees.
WIFE            : My God! it was 25 paise when I was in 8th grade.

Woman always need a reason, mood, emotion and comfort to have sex. Man are not like them, they are simple: they just need a woman.

The teacher kept a  Nehru's Cap on the ground.
Teacher      : What does it represent?
Sardar        : It says Pandit Nehru just got burried in the ground that only his cap can be seen.

Boy     : I can built hundreds of Taj Mahal if you accept my love for you.
Girl      : OK. Then how will you built the Taj Mahals.
Boy     : Silly girl..!! This is the first lie for our love.

"Everyone search for real beauty but its not easy to get it. Because real beauty doesn't mean the outside appearance but the inner."  ........Always wear colorful underwears.

Girlfriend       : Do you love me?
Boy               : Of course darling I do.
Girlfriend      : Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy              : That depands on your husband, if he allows.

Definition of BOSS:
He who thinks nine women together can produce a baby in one month. And if this target is achieved he wants twin next month.

British        : Do you know swimming?
Sardar        : No
British        : Dog is better then you, it swims.
Sardar        : Do you know swimming?
British        : Yes
Sardar        : Then what's the difference between you and dog?

Seven sadhus were sitting on mats.
Raju comes and says "Guruji I can't find a girlfriend."
A sadhu replied: "Bring another mat and sit down."

Son          : Dad, how much is (1 x 1)
Sardar     : You fool, donkey brain, idiot....you know nothing, go get a calculator:)

In a gym
Boy        : I want to impress this cute girl, which machine should I use?
Coach    : Use the ATM machine outside the gym.

Sardar came out of exam hall very sad.
When asked why, he said " Oye, I didn't know the pass tanse of THINK so I THOUGHT & THOUGHT & THOUGHT and wrote "THUNK".

10 Sardars and a girl hanging below a helicopter on a rope. Pilot said "One must leave because its overloaded."
Girl said "I will sacrifice" and all the Sardar CLAPPED!!

A senior student during ragging says "I will kiss your wife on your wedding day".
Junior: Great! you gonna give your sister to me?

An old man looking at a guy with pink, green and white hair.
Guy            : What are you looking at huh..Old Man? Want a piece of me?
Old man   : I made love with a piccock when I was in eight grade. I was thinking if you are my son.

Fortune knocks on your door only once.
GRAB IT..!! because next time he sends his daughter.
!@#$--Wondering who is the daughter huh?
Its Miss-fortune:)

Indian wives are so cultured wives.
They don't call "Abey Gadhe!" (Hey Fool) to their husband in front of others.
So they say, "A.G! Sunte Ho?" (Abey Gadhe, you listening?)


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